Every man would want to know the secret to solving conflicts between mother and wife. There is no doubt that a man knows better how to deal with mother and wife in conflict situations. Therefore, it is important for a man to take on the role of peacemaker. Before you wonder how to proceed, here is some important information that may help you resolve your issue:
Traditional societies have established a code of conduct for both the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law.
A mother-in-law is conditioned to have a formal relationship with her daughter-in-law. She is discouraged from being friendly, encouraged to be strict, to talk less, to assume the role of mentor, listing the do’s and don’ts, do’s and don’ts, keeping a record of the behavior of his daughter in law Where do you think this type of schooling originates from? The answer: there are many women, friends and family who train a mother to behave like a mother-in-law. All this is done in order to gain respect and maintain authority over the newcomer – the daughter-in-law. It may sound very ridiculous and offensive to some, but it’s true!
The daughter-in-law, on the other hand, is taught to impress her family, do her best to be in the good books, be obedient, and is strictly advised not to voice her opinions. In traditional families women are not encouraged to speak up and if one raises her voice she is labeled as a product of poor upbringing. Many women after marriage transform to become a person other than themselves.
From what I said above, it is clear that when two individuals engage in socially acceptable behavior, they can never personally live on good terms. Here is a list of what a man can do to erase the differences between the two of you:
Interaction: Help your mother and wife interact with each other on an informal level. On the weekends, play games, go on a picnic, watch a movie. Sign them both up for a music class or a gym. Do whatever your family likes, as this will improve communication between the two of you.
Responsibility: Some mothers still prefer to be dictators leaving the daughter-in-law with no choice but to follow orders. Encourage your mother and her wife to take turns handling household responsibilities. This will give both of you the freedom to do what you want, reducing friction.
Divide and Conquer: In extreme situations where things are getting worse by the day, try to keep the two of you apart for a while. Encourage her wife to pursue her hobbies and her mother to participate in activities that she enjoys. Taking your mind off her can ease tension and calm you down. Meditation is another important activity that can reduce anger, bitterness and enlighten you about the benefits of living in harmony.
Don’t take sides: The biggest mistake a man makes is taking sides. Stop convincing your mother that your wife has unknowingly done something wrong and she stops convincing your wife that your mother did not mean to offend her. This will only add fuel to the fierce battle between the two, leaving you on the receiving end.
Advice: a man can indirectly influence the mutual attitude of his mother and wife. It is not necessary for him to enroll in a career counseling course, but he has the ability to change his mind. Talk to your mother about changing with the times, being more liberal with your wife, citing examples. Talk to your wife about communicating with your mother, expressing her views without offending your mother’s feelings or disrespecting her.
Privacy: Most men talk a lot about their wife with their mother. Conversations between husband and wife should remain personal and not a topic of discussion with the family. Her wife will be hurt if she finds out that she passed her personal information to her mother and she will stop trusting you.
The battle between mother and wife is ancient. The constant conflicts between the two negatively affect the family, disturbing peace and harmony. It is time to break the stereotype, change the attitude and take a new and more liberal approach towards this relationship, shared by the mother and the wife!