Cheating and infidelity have been problems for humanity and human relationships since creation. Ancient histories record how there were always some who thought they deserved physical relationships outside of marriage. Cheating behavior occurred in both ancient and modern civilizations. Understanding how the behavior was viewed and handled over the years can give you insight and insight into your own struggle with this problem.
When discussing infidelity, it often helps to have an understanding of what infidelity looked like and was treated in some ancient cultures.
Modern society did not develop its views and laws on the subject from nothing. Modern views on society and law developed over time. The foundations of modern views were built on ancient precedents. If you want to make sense of modern laws and customs, it helps to understand their roots. Since Rome and Greece were foundational in terms of Western laws, customs, and civilization, a closer examination of their views gives you a better understanding of contemporary views on infidelity.
Roman history records that one of the factors behind the civil war between Julius Caesar and Pompey was that Caesar had slept with Pompey’s wife. Infidelity in the highest social circles often had major consequences and affected large numbers of people. Although movies like Caligula make Rome seem like a free-for-all, marriage was actually held in high regard. Adultery was often something people fought over. There were periodic wild parties, however the Romans of the early republic held marital fidelity and family in high regard. As the Republic became an Empire, many of the behaviors and values changed to accommodate the influx of people considered “Roman”. Families often sought to keep their family lines clear, which meant that fidelity was important to them. The adaptation of other cultures to the Roman world brought with it a decline in the moral conduct of many Romans. Some Romans dealt with this by wanting marital loyalty but allowing occasional immorality. The temple prostitutes were a mixture of religion with sexual debauchery. The mixture of the two allowed the Romans the excuse that they were going to the temple, when their motivation for going was suspect. Yes, immorality was common, but Roman society still saw the need and value of loyalty in marriage, knowing that strong families and family life were the fundamental foundation of a culture. Their culture had survived for many years and they wanted it to continue. His laws indicate that such morality was still valued by most Romans, although some lived very wasteful lives. Hollywood movies are often not accurate representations of Roman society, especially during the days of the Roman Republic. Roman orgies may sell movie tickets, but that was not how most noble families lived.
In Greek civilization, the hedonistic sexual debauchery portrayed in movies and in many university classrooms was not the standard in the days of free and democratic Greek society. Spendthrift hedonism became rampant during the decline and fall of the ‘free polis’, not before. In the days of the free polis (city-state) and democratic society, virtue in marriage was emphasized. Wasteful hedonistic behavior was also not accepted by all levels and classes of Greek society. Although mocked by playwrights and philosophers, the behavior was not part of mainstream Greek society. Yes, they had prostitutes, but visiting them was often considered seedy. Seedy behavior was considered low class in ancient Greece, as it is in any modern moral society. Plays from ancient Greece often portrayed such behavior on stage, but like a Hollywood production, there was frequent exaggeration and an overemphasis on debauchery. This exaggeration and overemphasis on debauchery often drew crowds to the stages of ancient Greece.
Marriage, like many transactions in ancient Rome, was governed by contracts. Since it was by contract, the laws relating to contracts applied. The concept of Roman contract law is very different from the Biblical/Hebrew concept of covenant marriage. In the pact, the two parties pledge their strength and wealth to each other throughout the generations. A covenant was not revocable and lasted for future generations.
A contract is a legal agreement that can be broken when one party fails to fulfill their part of the agreement. The terms of a contract are often enforced by law. The duration of a contract is limited to the life of the parties that sign it.
The idea of using contracts to document the arrangement was not new. In Babylonian law, marriages were also required to have a contract. One of the differences between the Babylonian contract and the marriage contract of today was that it was more akin to being a ‘bill of sale’ to the wife, rather than a legal arrangement made between two individuals.
Being governed by contracts, as Rome was, there was a plethora of lawyers in Rome who wrote those contracts. Contracts were essential. Without a contract, the marriage was not legal. For this reason, many people had an almost fanatical zeal regarding marriage lines. They knew they needed legal legitimacy for their birth. Any doubt about the legitimacy of his birth was a stain on his character. When good marriage lines could be established, one person established his legitimacy.
Under Greek law, adultery was considered a private matter, although its consequences were public. Since the wife was seen as part of her husband’s family, they were her protectors and guardians. The husband (or a member of her family) was allowed to take revenge for adultery, even to the point of killing. The government did not interfere as the violator of the marriage was trespassing on property that was not rightfully his. The consequences of adultery, including death, were considered “justifiable.”
Under Roman law, when there was an affair of the wife, she lost her rights as a wife. The contract was cancelled, although she was allowed to keep her property that she had hers and her dowry before the marriage. If she contested the ‘divorce’ and she lost, she would be thrown into the river. This was part of the initial concept of trial by ordeal. Those who floated or swam away were judged innocent. Those who drowned were considered ‘guilty’. This same practice was also common in ancient Babylon, where some of the women learned to swim. According to the law, if they survived, even by swimming, they were not guilty.
The idea of public deaths in matters concerning adultery was not new. Under Greek law, murder was considered a private matter and left to the family, just like rape, robbery, and assault. Adultery, on the other hand, was considered a suitable matter for public persecution. The murder of the lover was considered justified and was commonly a public event. The entire community would often gather to witness the public execution of an adulterer.
Ironically, even in the early Christian church writers during the first five centuries of writing, all but one of the writers agreed that remarriage, even after divorce, was also considered “adulterous.” Adultery was not viewed favorably or tolerated as an acceptable reason for divorce.
Under Roman law, when a woman left her husband, she was considered the property of her father’s family. She was not an independent woman. Roman law also referred to wandering husbands. When a husband had an affair and left her wife for someone else, and he chose not to support her, the wife had new freedoms. Then she was free to date another man. If and when her husband returned, she was obligated to return to her relationship with him. If she and her children did not return, she was found guilty of adultery with the necessary trial by ordeal.
Marriage was widespread. Even the vestal virgins had husbands. So the vestal virgins weren’t really ‘virgins’. The only problem with vestal virgins was that they couldn’t have children. When they wanted children, they had to use a maid to deliver them. When a woman remained loyal and faithful to her husband, she was considered noble and virtuous. These women were highly valued in ancient Rome.