Forgiveness is difficult. It is one of the most difficult things to do because it goes against human nature. It is normal to want someone who has hurt you to get what they deserve. What we must do is show mercy. Mercy is choosing not to give someone what they deserve. James 2:13 says: There will be no mercy for those who have not shown mercy to others. But if you have been merciful, God will be merciful when he judges you. God will do justice if justified when the time comes.
What is forgiveness? Forgiveness is a decision to release a person from the obligation that he owes him for the damage he has caused. God’s forgiveness is the forgiveness of our sins by giving his son Jesus Christ. Jesus died on the cross to release the obligation and pay the price for our sins. You must forgive those who sin against you.
Matthew 18: 21-22 says: Then Peter came up to him and asked, “Lord, how many times must I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?” 22 Jesus replied, “No, not seven times, but seventy times seven!” This is for someone who has regrets and asks for forgiveness.
Forgiveness is not allowing the person you have forgiven to continue hurting you. Many times the person doesn’t care that he or she hurt you. They may want to cause you more harm. Sometimes they don’t even know that they have hurt you. You must forgive in your mind and hand it over to God and move on. That doesn’t mean you have to act like it didn’t happen. You don’t have to keep being around the person who is causing you harm.
Why is it so hard for us to forgive? You may have many reasons why you feel like you cannot forgive someone.
Is very large. There is nothing too great to forgive.
Time will heal it. Not true, time will allow it to rot and get worse.
I’ll forgive when they say they’re sorry. Most of the time it won’t happen.
I can’t forgive if I can’t forget. This is the other way around; you need to forgive, forget.
If I forgive them, they will do it again. That is very possible, and then you forgive them again, if they ask for your forgiveness.
These reasons are wrong; they are reasons that will cause you pain; they do not cause pain to the person who has hurt you. Holding on to your hatred or resentment will consume you and affect your life, not the person who hurt you.
Why it hurts us not to forgive. Part of following Christ is forgiving others, which is why we obtain forgiveness of our sins. Matthew 6:14, 15. 14 “If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. 15 But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.” Not forgiving punishes everyone in its path, and the consequences of not forgiving are long-lasting. Not being able to forgive is one of the main causes of bitterness, which is a constant negative that runs through your mind. It also causes anger, which eats away at you and causes you more harm.
Colossians 3:13 13 Consider the faults of others and forgive everyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. These verses speak of when people ask for forgiveness and repent, even if they do it over and over again. How God will continue to forgive us when we sin over and over again, if we ask.
Forgiveness is not something instantaneous or easy; you are healing by grieving and then letting it move on. Forgiveness is something you cannot do on our own; you need God’s help to complete forgiveness. During the forgiveness process, do you: Don’t mention it to the person. Don’t mention it to others. Don’t mention it to yourself. Don’t tell yourself that you have the right to be angry.
Ephesians 4:31 31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words and slander, and all kinds of wickedness. 32 Instead, be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, just as God forgave you through Christ. If you feel angry, bitter, or angry, ask God to forgive you and help you complete the process so that you can let go. Holding onto negative emotions will not allow you to have peace and let it go.
Should we always forgive? We need to forgive everyone in our mind in order to overcome the feelings that gnaw at us. But we don’t always need to forgive the wrongdoer. God only forgives if the person repents of their sins. Doesn’t God demand a higher standard of us than what he forgives? We need to forgive the person in our mind and let them go so they don’t affect our lives. But we don’t have to forgive the person or anyone else if they show no remorse and ask for our forgiveness. If they show remorse and ask for forgiveness, then we must forgive them as God forgives us our sins.