You can get divorced in 3 ways:
- Do it on your own without help
- Hire a divorce attorney
- Use an online divorce service to fill out the paperwork for you.
Get a divorce on your own
This is the cheapest method, but it also requires you to take the time to sort out the paperwork. You can make mistakes that can delay the divorce process. In order to get a divorce on your own, it is best that you and your spouse agree on everything. If you don’t, you can represent yourself in a contested divorce trial, but if your spouse has an attorney, you’ll be at a significant disadvantage.
Divorce with a lawyer
I recommend this if you and your spouse cannot agree on the terms of the divorce or if your divorce is complex (involves a lot of property and/or complicated child custody issues). However, if your divorce is simple and all the terms of the divorce are agreed between you and your spouse, then you can do it on your own, with or without the help of a divorce service.
Using an online divorce service
A divorce service does not give you legal advice. Instead, you answer questions about your divorce, and then the divorce service completes the paperwork for you for a fee. This is usually much less expensive than hiring an attorney to complete your paperwork and saves you the hassle of figuring out the paperwork on your own.
If you don’t feel comfortable going through your divorce without legal advice, you can fill out the paperwork and then schedule a consultation with an attorney. You will pay for that time. Some divorce attorneys will review the paperwork, get an idea of what your divorce entails, and then give you an opinion as to whether the terms are reasonable.
Legal requirements for divorce
You file for divorce in a particular state or province. In other words, it is not done at the federal level.
Residence for Divorce
Each state and province requires that you or your spouse reside for a stipulated period of time before you are eligible to file for divorce in that state or province. Six months is common, but could be shorter.
Waiting period
Most states/provinces have a waiting period from the date the papers are filed to the date the divorce order is issued. Waiting periods are usually 6 to 12 months.
Legal grounds for divorce
More and more states and provinces are granting no-fault divorces. This means that you are filing for divorce on the basis that the breakup of the marriage is permanent. The legal language is “irreconcilable differences.” This basis for divorce does not blame either party.
Some states and provinces still have fault-based grounds, such as substance abuse, cruelty, adultery, and other grounds.
Main problems in divorce
The main problems in divorce are:
- property division
- debt division
- Child/spousal support
- child custody
Not all divorce situations will include all of these issues. Every divorce situation is different. However, when these issues arise, they must be resolved at some point in the divorce process. This may be early in the process through an agreement between you and your spouse. Sometimes, when no agreement is reached, matters must be taken to mediation and/or to Court.
How to file for divorce
Please note that this article is in general terms. Divorce is legislated by each state and province and therefore there are specific laws for filing for divorce in each state and province.
That said, you usually file for divorce through a Petition for Divorce (in some jurisdictions it may be called something else, but it’s the same thing). One of the spouses completes and files the petition for divorce with a court.
The petition states:
- the reasons (fault or no fault)
- key information about the parties and the marriage, such as children, place and date of marriage, names of the parties, property information, child custody information, and/or support information (child and/or spousal).
Once the petition is successfully filed in Court, the petitioning party must deliver a filed copy to the other spouse, who is called the defendant or respondent.
If the divorce is uncontested, meaning that all the terms are agreed upon by the parties, then the respondent only needs to sign an acknowledgment of receipt of service of the petition. If you cannot find the other spouse to serve the petition, you may need to hire a process server to handle service.
It is important that you file the petition according to the rules of your state or province. If the service is not performed properly, the divorce process will be delayed. You may not receive your divorce order until service is successful.
The waiting period
Most states and provinces have a waiting period until a divorce decree (also known as a decree or order) is issued. The length of the waiting period depends on the state and province. Once you successfully file the petition, that is usually when the waiting period begins. Service of a petition is a trigger date that spouses cannot remove children from the jurisdiction, sell property, borrow against property, or sell insurance they have for the other spouse until the divorce is final.
If you must take a step, such as removing the children from the jurisdiction, you must ask the court for an order to determine what you want to do.
If the respondent contests the divorce, you can file an answer to the petition. This would trigger a legal process in court where you will need to participate in order for the divorce issues to be resolved.
If the defendant fails to file an answer, then the petitioner can apply for a default order within 30 days of service (or however long the defendant has to respond in the particular state or province).