You decide that you want to be a foster parent. You are waiting for classes. You do the background check. Then comes the home study process. The home study process for foster care can be long and very intrusive. Keep in mind that there is a good reason to do an extensive background check and home study. If you do, you will be less stressed about it. It depends on the agency, but you can expect your home study interview to last several hours over the course of several days. The following are some topics and questions that are likely to come up for you and your partner:
Topic number one: your background
You will have an extensive background check that includes, but is not limited to:
- fbi fingerprints
- Work history of at least 10 years.
- A letter from your employer and possibly previous employers
- Recommendation letters
- credit check
- Physical and previous medical history, including hospitalizations and mental health counseling
- Statement of financial responsibility which may include pay stubs, IRS records, bank statements, and budget planning. You don’t have to be wealthy, but you do have to prove that you can be financially responsible for a child regardless of foster care payments.
Topic number two: Why do you want to be a foster parent? Are you prepared for the implications of foster care?
Possible questions include:
- Why do you want to adopt?
- Fertility, if applicable: have you resolved any infertility issues? Have you grieved enough about your ability to conceive? What if you are in the midst of fostering a child (or possibly adoption) and you conceive?
- How do you see being a foster parent changing your life? Are you ready for those changes?
- Tell us about your strengths and weaknesses.
- What would other people say about your ability to be a father?
- What kind of support system do you have in place? Are they open to the reception process?
- Are you willing to host children with special needs or placement considerations? Examples include: minority race, drug-exposed or addicted children, sibling groups, older children, and children with autism or mental retardation.
Topic Number Three: Your Childhood
Possible problems include:
- Tell me about your childhood.
- Describe your parents’ relationship.
- How did your parents discipline you and your siblings? What would you do the same as your parents and what would you do differently?
- If you had a trauma in your childhood, how did you overcome it or is it still affecting your life today?
Topic number four: your current and past relationships, including your own children, if any.
Tell us about your current (and past) relationships. On the home study application, you can expect to need to list all previous significant relationships, what they were like, and how they were dissolved. At the interview, you may be asked further clarifying questions. You will be asked about your own children and how they will react when you become a foster parent. They could even interview your children.
Theme Number Five: Your Parenting Practices
- Tell us about your strengths and weaknesses.
- What would other people say about your ability to be a father?
- How will you bond with a foster child?
- How will you handle visits?
- Do you plan to use a Book of Life with your parenting investments? How do you see yourself involved in this process?
- When the child leaves home and is reunited, how will he feel?
- How will you discipline your children?
This is your opportunity to emphasize that you care unconditionally for the child. Emphasize that if you encounter problems, you are willing to seek professional help to resolve them. The most important thing is that you are honest. Intentionally concealing or falsifying information about a home study is grounds for prosecution. Home study workers are more concerned with their ability to parent, not with having a “perfect” life. They want to see that you have had problems and that you can overcome them.