Going to college as an African American is something that many are unprepared for. Unfortunately, in many of our homes, our parents did not have the benefit of a college education, so they do not see the same value as many other cultures in obtaining a higher education. For some, the only criteria in life is to get a job and support themselves and their family.
When I graduated from high school, my sister had just finished her second year of college. While I was planning my next steps, we had a family reunion (my parents and my sister). At that time my father was the only person working and his company had just closed, so finances were very tight. I can still see the pain in my parents’ eyes while we had the conversation; “Son, we think college is a great thing, but honestly, we can’t afford to pay you and your sister to go to college. She has 2 years to complete her degree and you guys are just starting out. We want to help you both but financially we just can’t. “
For the first time in my life I was faced with an adult financial decision. I’m sure it could have made a fuss and my parents would have divided their limited resources between us. The only challenge was that my sister was already studying at her university, so she didn’t have time to work anymore and still maintain her GPA. I told my parents, “I understand the situation we are in and appreciate all that you have done to help us get an education. Don’t worry about college for me. I’ll find something. Let’s make sure my sister can finish her last 2 years “. When we finished the meeting, we all knew the decision was the right one, but that didn’t make it hurt any less.
I applied for a local college that I could attend and not incur the costs of living on campus. My goal was to minimize expenses as much as possible. The first semester was very hard for me. I didn’t get support at school because everywhere I looked for help they told me “here you are alone. You have to make it work. It is not our job to help it work.” He wasn’t used to that kind of response, but of course it was college.
The second semester my financial aid went bad for some reasons that I never understood, so I didn’t get enough to cover my books. I tried to get used books, replace them with other resources, etc. I was so discouraged by the lack of support I received and my grades struggled as a result. From that moment I made 2 decisions; first, I would get a full-time job and be able to pay for books next semester, and second, that I would never be in a place where I would need others to help me continue my education. My university was not the ideal place to seek help if you needed it.
I transferred and the second year I enrolled in a business school obtaining a diploma in Accounting. I got a job as an accountant that I held for a couple of years. I got married and dropped out of school. As my family grew, I realized that my income would never increase with just an Associate degree. I wanted more, but didn’t see how to get it. My wife (bless her heart) was a stay-at-home mom. She told me “look, you can never do better for us as long as your education limits the types of jobs you can get. So you work and enroll in classes part time until you get your degree. I will explain to the children: with them and take care of the house. You focus on getting better so we can all do better. “
I did. I took evening classes and got my Bachelor’s and Master’s degrees. My income improved as I was able to compete in a very competitive job market with experience and education on my resume. My wife was a black woman who also grew up in a home where her parents did not have a college degree. But she was smart enough to know that I could get mine if I had some support at home to help me get through. It was the first time that I really felt that someone was on my side and believed in my potential.
Going to college as an African American is difficult. Not many people support your dreams. You don’t have many role models and as long as you work, things seem to be going well. But to excel in life you need to have skills that are marketable. I was never good with my hands, so manual labor was not going to work for me. But I was fine using my head. I just needed someone to believe in me enough to see that I, too, could excel in life.