I think now there is a widespread communication problem in business and life, cowardice in communications. I suspect that we have all been guilty of it at one time or another. My definition of cowardice in communications is sending an email, a text message, or some form of electronic message, avoiding simple spoken communication. True cowardice is evident in those cases where the sender knows in his heart that a phone call or person-to-person meeting would be a much better way to deal with a problem, but is too “cowardly” to do so.
Electronic communication is wonderful and has many uses. No need to chat when imparting basic information such as “See you in 30 minutes”, “See you at the office”, etc. Electronic communication connects us to each other in a way that we couldn’t even dream of years ago. Social media has put this phenomenon on steroids with our “friends,” even considering that the definition of friend in the digital world is much more vague than in the analog of yesteryear. I used to know who my friends were (or so I thought). In today’s digital world, it seems like I have more friends than I can imagine.
I have much more digital knowledge and I am much more active than those my age and, in fact, more than many much younger as well. So when I long for the old days, it’s not through the eyes of someone who’s an old fart and dreads the new frontier of communications. However, I still yearn for more person-to-person communications rather than digital. Real dialogue. Listening. Talking. Thinking about what was said and reacting. I have been criticized throughout my life for being too quick to solve without really listening (maybe this is Lonny’s fifth habit “First seek to understand me, then shut up”, I don’t think Covey had that in mind). This criticism was often legitimate. Still is. Be that as it may, with analogue dialogue you have the opportunity to listen to someone, hear the passion of their feelings and, if it is in person, observe body language, which communicates much more than just words. With electronic messaging you don’t have any of that. In fact, electronic communication is terrible at expressing feelings. There is a lot of misunderstanding about the underlying feelings in a lifeless email or text message.
I’m afraid the “yutes” of today (sorry for the overuse of the Cousin Vinny reference, but it was great) lack some fundamental oral skills and fully developed writing skills. These were critical skills when I entered the corporate world in the 1970s. I remember my boss at BBDO, Jack Thorne, urging me to write a business memo as if it were written for the “Man on the Moon.” Facts, rationale, sharp, simple and to the point. Not flowery. I paid attention to him, Jack. You were right.
Oral communication is the best of all. It can explain, change direction, influence and push towards a solution. I enjoy a recap of the business meeting when the leader says, “Okay, just to recap, this is what we’re doing.” There is a unified game plan. I also enjoy a dialogue and discussion that makes me think and challenges my point of view. Despite the strength of my personal convictions on many issues, I can also change my mind. That’s what human dialogue is all about. Has an email ever changed your mind? Worse yet, a Facebook post about a political candidate – why waste everyone’s time, ban these.
So my advice to you when the topic is really important, don’t flinch and just send an email or text message. Call and / or meet at your location. I guarantee that you are more likely to have a positive result.