Q. My boyfriend is addicted to internet chat. What I can do?
(Marlene)
A. Your boyfriend is obviously bored, either in his life or in his relationship, and is looking for company online. You are not necessarily addicted. It may be that you are not talking about the things that you enjoy and that is why you take refuge in the chat. Or that you need an extra stimulus in conversation and you like chat rooms. Either way, you are not attracting attention and he is neglecting their relationship.
There are a few things you can do:
1. Join a chat room and play his own game with him. Send him instant messages and things like that. It could give your conversations a new dimension and make them more interesting.
2. Let him know how you feel about it and ask how HE would feel if most of his time was spent that way. Then ask if there are other things the two of you could be doing together.
3. Commit to the time you could spend online, as long as I spend the same time with you. So he could have a couple of hours each day chatting, maybe, as long as they both share a similar time together.
4. Tell him that you feel left out of his company because he doesn’t seem to have time for you. If that continues, you will have to drop it and see what it does.
However, keep in mind that no one person can fulfill all aspects of our life. We will always be looking for outside stimulation in one way or another. The main thing is to ensure balance in everything you do. The Internet is also a first for many people. Sometimes the answer is to just let it go for a while until the novelty wears off, while you’re hanging out with your friends or finding something equally interesting to do, rather than sitting around looking at it. If you simply point out to him what he is doing, or scold him for it, he will feel resentful and will keep doing it.
The more we go on with our life, the more attractive we become to others, because they have to run towards us! So if all else fails, find a hobby too, or someone who will give you the attention you deserve and see the rapid change in your reaction.
