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In the affairs of men, nothing matters more in creating wealth, influence, and power than the friends you keep. In short, your network! As Brian Tracy once joked, “You can’t fly with the eagles if you keep scratching with the turkeys.” Chinua Achebe captured it succinctly in Things Fall Apart, where she popularized the African proverb, “If a child washed his hands, he could eat with kings.” One English cliché says: “birds of the same plumage fly together”, and another says: “tell me your friend and I will tell you who you are”. Although the last saying is commonly associated with character issues, it can also be applied to the topic of our discussion, networking as it pertains to net worth.

Dennis P. Kimbro, co-author of Think and Grow Rich: A Black Choice, once asked Don King, the boxing promoter and showman, “what are your goals?” and he replied, “to become the first billionaire Black America”. .” When Kimbro asked, “how are you going to do that?” he replied, “I just told you, hanging out with billionaires, learning everything they know.” T. Harv Eker, the author of Think Rich to Get Rich: Secrets of the Millionaire Mind describes a simple test he says he administers to attendees of his Million Mind Intensive seminar, asking them to write down the names of the seven best friends they spend the most time with. (excluding spouses and their children), and says that the average income of each attendee always reflects the average income of their top seven friends. Are you surprised? We did a similar exercise in our seminar Dig Your Well Before You’re Thirsty (title taken from Harvey Mackay) and the attendees were stunned by the result and all promised to rethink the friends and the network they maintain.

Anytime you attend a social function, whether it’s a society wedding, a grand red-carpet reception, or a presidential ball, take a close look at who’s hanging out with whom. You’ll soon find that after the initial greetings and courtesies are exchanged, people will drift imperceptibly back to the groups they belong to: the poor will gather to complain about the bad economy, the middle class will go back to slapping their group members. and brag about the next big toy they plan to buy, while the rich will quietly whisper in their own circle where the next big investment is likely to come from. Generally, you won’t see the super rich at these social events. They meet on secret islands to hatch the next mega deals.

Proper networking is so crucial to success in life and in business that you ignore or neglect this discipline at your peril. If you look, the poorest people have the shallowest networks or no networks at all to speak of. When the poor man is in a bind, he has no friends to turn to. The opposite is true for the rich and super rich. They all have well-oiled networks that allow them to have advance information on new government policies before they become public knowledge; They are always the first to know about new high-yield private placements and use their networks to literally save their lives. When a close mentor suffered a life-threatening brain clot that caused him to suddenly pass out, it was the network he had built over the years that saved the day. One, two, three phone calls and he was flown to London and within hours a simple but delicate procedure was carried out that drained fluid from his skull and brought him back to life.

In her 2008 presentation at the then-ASTD (American Society for Training and Development) International Conference, entitled Mastering Professional Networking: Turning Relationships into Lifelong Assets, Neusa Hirota, an American of Japanese descent, who grew up in Brazil and speaking little English, he told the incredible story of how he used the power of networks to change jobs four times in six years and secure jobs in some of the world’s most powerful establishments, including the World Bank. It was from her presentation that I first heard about the “Six Degrees of Separation” theory. Six Degrees of Separation is the theory that any person on the planet can be connected to any other person on the planet through a chain of acquaintances that has no more than five intermediaries. The theory was first proposed in 1929 by the Hungarian writer Frigyes Karinthy in a short story called “Chains”. We won’t join the debate on whether or not this theory has been proven, all you need to know is that you can be incredibly successful if you use the power of networking to your advantage.

Like any other game, networking has its own rules. Don’t go around slapping your courtesy card into the hand of every person you meet because I can assure you your card will end up in a dumpster. If you want to join a network, have something to offer, be selfless and join gracefully, preferably from below. If you do a good job at home, you will be able to join the strongest battalions. The best place to start is through seminars, workshops, and conferences. Join clubs and associations like Lions, Toastmasters, Rotary, Optimists, ATD, and SHRM, to name just a few. Don’t forget about the old school alumni association and the PTA (parent teacher association). Remember, the devil you know is better than the one you don’t know. Look for people with the same passion or interest as you. Share your thoughts, ideas and portfolio of what you are currently working on. In fact, take advantage of every networking opportunity that suits your passion and temperament. Building a network is a marathon and not a 100 meter sprint, so be prepared to work hard for years.

Like any other discipline in life, learn to understand the concept of networking. What I want to say is that education is important. Be a guru in your little field. Who would want to do business with you if you have nothing to offer? Read the best books on networking. Keith Ferazzi, author of two bestselling books on networking, Who’s Got Your Back and Never Eat Alone, has taken the discipline of networking to a whole new level. From his network, he can find people who could become his mentor(s). Never underestimate what the right mentor can do for you. Remember, Isaac Newton once said, “if I have seen further, it is stood on the shoulders of giants,” and Napoleon Bonaparte said, “God is always on the side of the strongest battalions.” Your mentor, you and your network can form the strongest battalion and can see far over the horizon when you are serious about networking. Rich Schefren had Jay Abraham as his mentor, Bob Dylan was mentored by Woody Guthrie, Richard Branson was mentored by Freddie Laker, Jeff Bezos was mentored by David Shaw, and Warren Buffett was mentored by economist Benjamin Graham. So who is your mentor? In short, does the network really determine net worth? Yes indeed, nothing is as invincible as a powerful network. Start building yours today!

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