“I am very proud of the longevity of my marriage, my children and my
grandchildren. If you don’t have that, you really don’t have much.” -Bob Newhart
Last week we got the news that actor Jude Law cheated on his beautiful
fiancée, actress Sienna Miller, with her children’s nanny. Tea
The story, which made international headlines, was the subject of a special
“Best Week Ever” segment on the Today Show with Katie Couric.
BW panelist Sherrod Small explained Law’s behavior to Katie. “He is a
man,” he opined.
Which raises two questions: Are men programmed to cheat? And if a
Woman with Sienna Miller’s assets can’t keep a man faithful, what hope
is there for the rest of us?
My answer to the first question is a resounding no. men are not
programmed to cheat, but every time someone comes along and says they’re
(I’m thinking of Goldie Hawn in a recent People interview), the bar
gets off Women begin to believe that men are incapable of being faithful,
and stop waiting for it.
Men are capable of monogamy. If you want a monogamous relationship,
expect monogamy. Don’t make excuses and don’t accept a guy after he’s done.
cheated on your best friend It doesn’t matter if you look
like Sienna Miller, if you take a cheater, you get a cheater. (Their
It’s also not a good idea to poach other women’s men; You do not go
with a prize, you know; you got a guy that will break you
heart one day).
To prove my point, a retrospective of Bob Newhart’s career aired last
week on PBS two days after the revelation about goofy Jude Law.
Now you might think that Bob Newhart is an older man, not very sexy, not Jude
Law, but in 1963, when he married his wife, Ginny, he was certainly not
bad (and makes people laugh, a real turn on).
Much of the show dealt with their marriage and their devotion to their
wife and children. At one point, Newhart and his wife were shown
sitting together in the audience at a recent award ceremony looking wrinkled
and in love (So you don’t wonder if old Bob cheated on Ginny while he was going
Along the way, she arranged her schedule so that she and the children
I could go with him.)
Another example of a happily monogamous man is Aerosmith’s Joe Perry.
He and his wife Billie got married in 1985. Since then, he hasn’t left.
house unless she’s on board, and he’s still writing songs about her (check
his new CD, “Joe Perry”).
Isn’t that what we all want when we propose to get married? To be loved
for being ourselves, for meeting goals with the man we love, for being
allowed to grow old with him gracefully, to sit happily across the table
of him in 20, 40 and 60 years?
So set your bar high. Forget men like Jude Law. wait for a
Bob Newhart or a Joe Perry. They exist, and you deserve no less.